Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.

Q: What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a blonde track team?
A: The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: You don't eat your bowling ball.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: Practice.

Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex!

Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.

Q: What does a blonde and a tampon have in common?
A: They're both stuck up c*nts!

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: Why do some blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.

Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone?
A: Ice cream cones don't lick back.

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and go seek winner.

Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'

Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A1: A golden retriever.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A: She opens the car door.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer! Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: WHAT CAN SAVE A DYING BLONDE?
A: Hair transplants.

Q: WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE WOKE UP UNDER THE COW?
A: What are you guys still doing here?

Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.

Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.