Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.

Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex !

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.

Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747

Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.

Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and go seek winner.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.

Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A: A whine and cheese party!

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: How do you know when blonde is cooking chocolate chip cookies?
A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.

Q: What do airplanes and blondes have in common?
A: The black box.

Q: Why did the blonde have a bruised belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: There were 4 blondes in a pick up truck and it went into the river.

Why did they all drown?
A: They could not get the tailgate open.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and mosquito?
A: The mosquito knows when to stop sucking.

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?
" Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: Come.

Q: How does a blond spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O

Q: How does a bitchy blonde do it doggy style?
A: She takes off her clothes and makes her boyfriend roll over and beg.

Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.

Q: How do you know a blond likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

A: They're both down under, and no one cares.

A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.

A: Who cares?
Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A: They spread for the bread.

Q: What do you call a blonde on a waterbed?
A: Cherry Float Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell.




she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: a foursome.

Q: What do you give the blonde that has everything?
A: Penicillin.

Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.

Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to re-train them.

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: What do blonde virgins eat?
A: Baby food.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
A3: When is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

A: A prostitoad.

A: Where she goes down on you and you owe her one.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

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